Colin Maxwell Nelsen is here, and I am in love with him! Here's his story, which, might I add, did not turn out at all how I expected it to.
I need to preface this story with a little bit of info about my OB. When I was pregnant with Grant and trying to find a doctor, I did a LOT of research. Despite being a big fan of epidurals, I wanted a doctor who was very minimally invasive and had a very low c-section rate. Basically, I wanted a doctor who was more like a midwife. The doctor I found was actually the back up OB for a stand alone midwife practice/birthing center. I met him and I knew he was the kind of doctor I wanted. He doesn't do the unnecessary interventions, has a VERY low c-section rate, does VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean), breech deliveries, and is amazingly kind and compassionate. And not that he would ever try to push it on a patient, I knew that he's also very pro natural childbirth and prefers his patients don't get epidurals. Anyway, I knew that if he told me I needed a certain intervention or c-section, it meant that I really, truly needed it. Ok, on with the story!
When I went to the doctor for my 39 week checkup, Mr. Colin was not head down like he should be. They did an ultrasound and found that he was transverse. My OB, who I happen to think is one of the most amazing doctors on the planet, tried to coax Colin to turn but I started to contract, which made my abdomen too hard to try to get Colin to move. So then my doctor suggested we go to the hospital and try and do an external cephalic version. An ECV is a very fun process I experienced with Grant, where they give you terbutaline to prevent contractions and then turn the baby around by pushing the baby through the abdomen. It hurts. But it worked really well with Grant, so I was sure it would work with Colin (even though I was a little further along). What we had to decide was if the version was successful, did we want to go ahead and induce right then or go home and risk having him turn back. I was very adamant about not wanting to be induced, so I planned on going home with a head down baby and going to labor on my own.
Saturday morning we went in to the hospital and got all hooked up and ready for the procedure. My doctor spent a good half hour or so to try to get Colin turn. He thought at one point that he had been able to move him, but when they did an ultrasound he was still in exactly the same position he'd been in before. He just would not budge. So, my doctor laid out the options: we could hope that he would turn on his own (not terribly likely that late in pregnancy, but still possible), try to do a vaginal breech delivery (which my doctor has a lot of), or do a c-section. Well, I am SO opposed to c-sections, because they are so often done when they're not needed (and because I didn't want major abdominal surgery, go figure) and my doctor is not one to do a c-section unless it's truly medically necessary . So, we went home and researched and discussed the options; the risks and benefits of a breech delivery versus the risks and benefits of a c-section. Of course, I was still really hoping we could get Colin to turn so that we wouldn't have to try and decide. I was really convinced that I wanted to try a breech delivery, but John was more nervous about this option and was leaning towards a c-section (I'll avoid writing an essay about the specifics, but will say that based on my research, I felt like a breech delivery by a skilled doctor would be as safe as a c-section) . We fasted and prayed (as did our families) about what we should do if Colin wouldn't turn head down. I still felt like he was going to turn though. So, in addition to praying a great deal, I did some research and talked to a doula friend (hi Morgan!) about what to do to get him to turn. I tried a bunch of different positions and yoga type stuff (even put a bag of frozen peas above Colin's head and a hot pack down in the direction I wanted him to move, hoping the cold would push him in that direction), I went to the chiropractor several times for the Webster technique, I went swimming multiple times and floated around on my belly. I even tried the crazier things like acupuncture and moxibustion and rubbing peppermint oil on my stomach. I never felt like he'd turned down, but I still held out hope. I had an appointment Tuesday afternoon and John and I felt like we should ask to try a ECV one more time if Colin hadn't turned. Sure enough, when the doctor checked, Colin hadn't moved. I was very upfront with my doctor and told him that we were pretty religious people and had been praying about what to do and felt like we should try another ECV. Fortunately, my doctor is also a very religious person and said so, and that he appreciated that and we could definitely try again. So, we made an appointment to head back to the hospital the next day (Wednesday) and we were pretty sure that no matter what we were going to have Colin that day (after all this drama, I felt like we should induce if we were able to get him to turn).
Wednesday morning we went to the hospital and they hooked me up and gave me an even larger dose of terbutaline. After about four hours, the doctor came in and tried again to turn Colin. Once again though, the kid just wouldn't budge. My amniotic fluid was pretty low and Colin was pretty big, so he just couldn't really turn. At that point, we talked to my doctor about inducing and trying the breech delivery. They gave me Cervadil (which is used to ripen the cervix and is often the first step when inducing) and said they'd check on me in a few hours. They also did an x-ray to see exactly what position Colin was in. The doctor came back around 6pm and checked my cervix. I was still at a 1, 50% effaced, and -3 station (meaning Colin was floating way up in my uterus and not down in my pelvis at all). The doctor also showed us the x-ray, which showed Colin's little feet down in my pelvis and the rest of him way up in the uterus. Silly kid. So, with those things in mind, we discussed the options with my doctor. We could try and do a vaginal delivery, but it would be riskier because he would be coming out feet first. During a feet first delivery, when the water breaks the feet might come right out and labor will stall because there's no pressure on the cervix. So, if my water broke and I was at 5 centimeters, I would get stuck there. The bigger risk with a footling breech delivery is cord prolapse; when the water breaks, the umbilical cord could fall out and be trapped against the baby's body and cut off his oxygen supply. If this were to happen during a breech delivery, we'd be looking at an emergency c-section. My doctor said we could try the vaginal delivery and he could try to reach up in there and get Colin's feet out of the way. The other option was an elective c-section. And here's where choosing a doctor you trust is important! I asked my doctor what he thought we should do (he's never voiced his opinion without me asking, and he always presents me with all the options and lets me make my own decisions. That's one of the many reasons I think he's such an amazing doctor) and he said that he wouldn't risk the baby, he would pick the c-section. I started bawling. He then left us to talk it out and decide.
Through my bawling, we talked about what we should do. My doctor was recommending a c-section. MY doctor. That really impacted me. As I mentioned before, I felt like if he were ever recommending a c-section, it would mean that I really probably needed it. I trust him. I know that there are instances of safe, successful vaginal deliveries of footling breech babies. But I also know that there are some serious risks, and I REALLY did not want to try to do this vaginally and then end up with an emergency c-section or damage to Colin. We talked and prayed, and I KNEW that the c-section was the right choice. But still there was this small irrational part of me that just didn't want to say yes to the c-section. I didn't want to be one of THOSE people. You know, one of those people who gets judged for having a c-section. And I can say this because I've been one of those awful people who judges those who have c-sections. Serves me right. I've always wonder if those people REALLY needed the c-section, since there are so many people who end up with unnecessary ones. I felt like I really DID need to take that route, but it was still really hard for me to accept. Even after I decided and felt at peace with my choice, I cried and cried. I was stupidly feeling like a failure and worrying about having to tell people I had a c-section. Silly, I know. Anyway, the doctor came back in and asked us what we had decided. I was crying too hard to answer, so John had to tell him that we had decided to go ahead and do the c-section. I still continued to cry about it off and on until I was actually in the OR.
They came in and prepped me for surgery and gave John a really snazzy coverall thingy. The anesthesiologist walked me to the OR (John would come in once I was ready) and as I was walking towards those double doors, I almost started to panic. I was amazed at how scared and freaked out I felt, and briefly wondered if I could turn around and run away. Seriously. I managed to get over it, and we went in and they gave me a spinal block (which, by the way, was so weird. I lost ALL feeling below the waist, which was something I had definitely not experienced with an epidural). They then strapped my arms down and put up the little divider so that I couldn't see them cut me open. :) I was freezing and shaking from the cold, and very, very nervous (which I'm sure contributed to the shaking). John came in and I don't even think he was all the way to me by the time they had cut me open. I couldn't tell that they had, but the anesthesiologist told me. She was great, kind of gave me a play by play and kept reassuring me. There was a lot of pushing and tugging, which felt really weird (I think I said "This is so weird" to John maybe 10 or 15 times). And then Colin was out and screaming bloody murder! He was born (or yanked out of me, as I tend to say) at 9:31pm and was 8 pounds, 10 ounces and 20 1/4" long. My smallest baby! I got a glimpse of him and then John went over with him while he was cleaned and I was stitched up. At this point I was kind of starting to feel them stitching me up, and between that and the cold I was really starting to shake. And that's when they gave me the Demerol and I was gone. I was really out of it when they wheeled me to the recovery room. John met me in there and I tried to talk to him about Colin, but I was slurring my speech so horribly that John was just laughing at me. I'm not sure how long it took, but eventually them wheeled me to my room and brought Colin to me. I was SO excited to finally hold him,though very annoyed that like with Grant, I had to wait so long to hold my baby. I was amazed at his great head of dark hair! The medications they had me on made both me and Colin pretty sleepy, so I actually don't remember a whole lot about those first few hours. :)
Thursday morning the nurse came in and took out my catheter and told me that I was going to have to get up and go to the bathroom at some point (they like to make sure you can get up and whatnot during those first 24 hours). I was terrified, because even drugged, just moving in my bed hurt. But two nurses came and helped me stand up and walk to the bathroom. I cried the entire time. All I can say is that having had two vaginal deliveries and one c-section, I would never, EVER choose a c-section over a vaginal delivery. The recovery was so much worse, I hated it. The first three or four days were exceptionally awful. Once I got home I parked it on the couch and laid there for about a week, avoiding getting up any more than I absolutely had to. Just getting up off the couch seriously hurt. It ended up taking a month to feel almost normal and be able to put on jeans without them hurting my incision. Plus I was on hydrocodone, which made me feel nauseated and drowsy. It also made Colin really sleepy, thus exacerbating our nursing issues (which could be a whole separate post).
I still feel at peace with our decision to have a c-section, though it still makes me sad sometimes. My doctor made sure to tell me in the hospital and at my six week checkup that I don't have to do a c-section in the future, I can do a VBAC (assuming I can convince John to have another kid). No matter what though, it was all worth it. Colin arrived here safe and healthy, and that's what really matters.
P.S. Please pardon any typos, I've spent too long writing this/rereading to be able to catch any more mistakes. Also, to my childbirth expert friends, please don't laugh at my attempt to explain some of the specifics...since I took so long to write this post, I'm slightly fuzzy on some of the details. :)
